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This handy
reference guide to men's most frequent lies should help
you see right through them and enable you to enjoy a sincere,
honest and mutually satisfying relationship. If that is
possible!
When it comes to doing household
chores, men will often employ a crafty twofold lie and say,
"I said I'll do it, so I'll do it." This implies
that not only are they going to "do" whatever
it is they are obviously never going to do, but that their
word is their bond - another lie. Men would rather be honest,
but saying "Not now, I'm staring into space" wouldn't
have the desired effect. I've tried both, and I swear by
the first one. Just like
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women, men usually lie about how many people
they have slept with. But, unlike women, men rarely trot out the
same number twice. A man will exaggerate or underestimate, depending
on the number of men he thinks the woman he's lying to has slept
with.
Men usually lie to women about being wild
in their youth. However, his story about the harrowing night he
spent in the police cells is just a sad exaggeration of the time
he was caught stealing a pencil and sharpener from Coles and cried
like a baby until his mum picked him up.
A lot of the lies that men tell are nothing more than harmless
vanity, but some can be downright dangerous. Watch out for bluffs
like, "I'm a strong swimmer" and "Of course I know
how to sail a boat." Avoid any scenario where you might have
to rely on these dubious talents.
Men usually lie about how hard they work. They have always been
experts at stretching two hours out into an eight hour day. In
the old days, men lied to their wives about their gruelling day,
so they could lock themselves in the study and read Playboy instead
of having to clean the barbecue grill. Now men not only have to
lie to their wives, but to their female bosses as well.
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When it's time for the
end of a romantic relationship, male duplicity kicks into
fifth gear. Even if he wants out, he'll do or say anything
to make it seem like you're leaving him. Later, he'll call
to say he can't live without you - usually when he discovers
you've taken all the sheets.
A man who has cheated on you will lie about it well past
the point of all rationality because, in hip mind, he has
nothing to gain by telling the truth. Even when presented
with incontrovertible evidence, a man will try to wriggle
out of it - saying things like, "Oh dear, my evil twin
must have escaped from prison again."
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"I'm not drunk." This one's pretty obvious, especially
as it usually sounds like "I'm nmmg dmgthph."
There is no reason to say you're not drunk - unless you are very
drunk indeed.
When a man says he's thinking about giving up his career and
opening a little bar on a beach in Fiji, he's not necessarily
lying: he may really mean it, he may even do it. But he is lying
when he says he'll take you with him.
When a man says sex with his
ex-girlfriend was crap, he is lying. When he tells you sex with
his ex was fantastic, he is lying again. Sex for men is one of
life's constants: it's always pretty good.
"Why Do Men Lie", featured
in the March 2000 issue of Womens
World Australia
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