To tell the truth, we tend to lie a lot
By Holly Kurtz / Gannett News Service
How many times have you lied today? Be honest.
Though studies suggest the average person lies seven times
a day, Dr. Charles Ford, author of Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!
(American Psychiatric Press) thinks that's conservative.
"I would say seven times an hour if you count all the
times people lie to themselves," says the psychiatrist
and professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.
He defines a lie as an untruth told with the intent to
deceive.
Children lie to avoid punishment and to evoke fantasies
they do not have the power to bring about. Young adults
tend to lie to preserve relationships, while older people
lean increasingly toward self-deception, Ford says. He adds
that women lie slightly more than men because they tell
more "white lies," which Ford defines as untruths
that ease social relationships.
|
|
|
Ford hesitates to pass judgment on lying. But ethics expert
Dr. George Graham of the University of Alabama at Birmingham
doesn't.
"When a greater good than the truth hangs in the balance,
it's permissible to lie," he says.
Rather than lying, Hilka Klinkenberg, managing director
of Etiquette International, a New York consulting firm,
recommends offering a positive comment that is also true.
For instance, if a friend asks for an opinion on an awful
new haircut, a response might be, "It really brings
out your eyes."
Copyright 1996, The Detroit News
|
